The couple is also impressed at the sense of responsibility that their sons’ Chinese teachers display. “We, and even our sons, can call teachers after school to ask questions about lessons, and they send us SMS instructions and tell us how the boys are doing. This is unheard of in Europe or the U.S.,” Joseph said.

Joseph understands that China has a huge population and hence competition is keen. “I think Chinese education is fine, and a certain amount of homework is necessary,” he said.

Didi, however, points out that Chinese education does not encourage children to use their initiative or to be creative enough, but is confident that family education should complement the excellent Chinese instruction. She and Joseph agree that their boys should finish high school in China.

Parental Responsibility

Joseph grew up in a traditional French family and had a strict upbringing. Before Joseph was seven years old his father arranged classes for him in Latin and Greek, as they are part of the foundation of all European languages. This wisdom is proven in Joseph’s ability to speak many languages, among them German, Russian, Italian and Spanish. Joseph’s siblings have careers respectively in the army, in law and in the civil service. Joseph, an accomplished surgeon, is hence keenly aware of the importance of family education.

“School and family education are equally important. School teaches children knowledge, and a loving family helps them cultivate good manners and character,” Joseph said.

Since the boys started school, the whole family gets up at 5:30 each morning. Didi prepares breakfast and Joseph helps the boys read stories in both English and French.

Joseph believes that reading is the best way to learn, because books leave more space for the imagination than TV or computers, which present things with imposed colors and sounds. Kids’ brains have to be nourished from personal efforts, and not like fish in aquarium. He does not want his sons simply to ape others’ feelings and thoughts. Sharing a book also brings parents and children closer. “A whole week of morning readings teaches them a lot. In addition they have a two-hour lesson at their weekend French school. It’s a great opportunity for me to understand my boys while spending time with them,” Joseph explained. He was amazed and delighted one day to witness the artistic talent Zhuoyang showed in his comic drawing of a character in the book they had just finished reading.

Maintaining good health is essential for a normal development and practicing sports is easy in Beijing through gymnastics at school, roller skating in its many parks, swimming in pools or at the beach, skiing, ice-skating, bicycling, hiking and tennis.

Joseph agrees with the Chinese traditional concept of education – “teaching children in accordance with their aptitude.” He makes a point of talking with his boys before they go to bed each night because he wants to understand how they see the world. “No child’s path of growth is entirely smooth. There are bound to be ups and downs. Parents need to spot problems and help their kids resolve them. We must also show them how to adapt to situations and face responsibility. For that, we have to gain their confidence and be patient,” Joseph said.

Now that most Chinese families have just one child, parents often find it hard to refuse the demands of their “little emperors.” Joseph believes parents should make kids understand the causes and effects of things, and encourages his boys to be independent and responsible without being capricious. They have to keep their rooms tidy and little Zhuo’ai helps his mom make breakfast.

Joseph respects Chinese culture and is in favor of the traditional Chinese familial concept wherein children revere their parents. “But parents should set examples of behavior. We should never lie to our children and when we say no, explain the reason why,” Joseph said.

French Impressions

In the four years Joseph and his family have lived in China the boys have made many Chinese friends. Didi is keen on public welfare activities, and in 2011 took her sons to celebrate Christmas with the group of disabled children she works with. Zhuoyang and Zhuo’ai spent the whole afternoon talking to them and quickly picked up sign language from children with hearing disabilities that they met there.

Joseph wishes to stay close to his children and often takes them on trips around China, taking care to explain the geographical and cultural features of each place they visit. Such commentaries pique the boys’ interest and nudge them to discover more about the nation of their mother’s origin.

Joseph acknowledges that things in Beijing are not perfect. The sky is often gray, and the back lanes are often littered. He nonetheless sees China as a self-sufficient country whose people are easygoing, hardworking and good-humored.

“There is much talk these days of the “China Threat” theory, but there have been no wars in China for the past three decades,” Joseph observed. He believes that China appears indeed on the way to leading the world, but in so doing the country gives the innate feeling of avoiding motivation to start a military war.

“Many people overseas focus on China’s problems rather than its development and undeniable qualities. All countries, whether under the multiple party system or single party rule, face problems to do with environment, transportation and unemployment. Most deplorable are money-centered politics and unbridled capitalism,” Joseph said. He sees the phenomenon of vast amounts of wealth concentrated in the hands of just a few as the biggest threat to China’s social development.

“China is still a conundrum to many Westerners. When we see a smile on a Chinese face, we don’t always catch on to what it signifies. But living in China and looking at what is good as well as what could be bad is key to appreciating what such an ancient and experienced society can teach you. Few people dispute that China will someday in the future be a world power.

My children, with their family background and being actually immersed in Chinese society and culture in their early years, have the best possible preparation for adulthood,” their father predicted.