Big Family
By staff reporter HOU RUILI
IN China, interpersonal relationships are key to doing well in society, so it’s worthwhile to learn how to address people correctly in Chinese and use this knowledge in everyday life.
The Chinese equivalents of Western titles like sir, madam, and miss – 先生 (xiān sheng), 女士 (nǚ shì), and 小姐 (xiǎo jiě) – are not often heard out of formal situations in China. 小姐 has been in use for a long time, but in olden times exclusively referred to daughters in upper-class families. Nowadays its prestige has been lost and it is even sometimes a slang term for woman providing sex services.
先生 literally means the person born before. In ancient Chinese, it was a respectable term for the educated, like teachers or doctors. Today as in English and French, its meaning expands to embrace all adult men. One thing particular about its Chinese application is that 先生 is also a synonym for husband. When a woman introduces her husband, she may say, “这是我先生” (zhè shì wǒ xiān sheng), “this is my husband.”
Amid increasing globalization Chinese people still favor their own forms of address over the imported ones. This is because, in my opinion, the Chinese people put more emphasis on family attachments. 社会 (shè huì), society, is a loan word that first emerged in Chinese in the late 19th century, but the concept has long been in Chinese ideology and culture, as expressed in the indigenous word 大家 (dà jiā), all of us, which abuts on 大家庭 (dà jiā tíng), big family. Chinese people also tend to address individuals using family terms.
For example, when Chinese people encounter an elderly person, they call him or her 爷爷 (yé ye), grandpa, or 奶奶 (nǎi nai), grandma, while those of their parents’ age will be called 叔叔 (shū shu) or 阿姨 (ā yí), that’s uncle or aunt, even though they are not members of the same family. In some rural areas, 爷爷and 奶奶 are replaced with 大爷 (dà ye) and 大娘(dà niáng), and 阿姨 with 婶子(shěn zi). 叔叔 is 叔叔 wherever you go.
For a man, addressing a male of about the same age 哥们儿 (gē menr), buddy, or 兄弟 (xiōngdi), brother, suggests familiarity, and this works particularly well in situations where they don’t know each other’s age. When the person looks older than you, it is appropriate to call him 大哥 (dà gē), elder brother, if you’re talking to a man or boy, or 大姐 (dà jiě), elder sister if you’re talking to a girl or woman. If the person is a child, you can call him or her 小朋友(xiǎo péng you), little friend.
There are also titles that indicate professions. People working in a restaurant or hotel are addressed as 服务员 (fú wù yuán), waitress or waiter, and the boss is 老板 (lǎo bǎn). People working in schools are called 老师 (lǎo shī) meaning teacher no matter they teach or not. In the office, people in a higher post or of an older age call the ones below them 小 (xiǎo), little, followed by his or her family name, for example 小王 (Xiǎo Wáng) or 小刘 (Xiǎo Liú). So if someone addresses you 叔叔 or 大姐, don’t feel strange. You should be happy instead, as it means that you are no longer regarded as an outsider. And if you are called 帅哥 (shuài gē), handsome man, or 美女 (měi nǚ), beauty, try not to blush, because nowdays they’ve almost become the Chinese equivalents of Mr. and Miss.
