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Husband and wife bow to each at a traditional wedding ceremony in the former residence of Lu Xun.
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An
affianced couple pose for wedding photos in Wuhan's East
Lake Park.
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A group wedding.
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In the decades prior to the 1980s, Chinese weddings were simple
occasions, for the people were then quite poor. Indeed, in the
1950s, the cost of a wedding amounted to the cost of a bed, in
the 60s, a bag of candies was thrown into the bargain, and in
the 1970s, Mao Zedong’s Little Red Book made for the perfect
wedding gift. But since China’s reform and opening-up policy
started to have a real impact on people’s living standards
in the early 1980s, weddings have become far more flamboyant affairs.
Here are three accounts of post-1980 weddings in China.
Ms Sun (aged 47): “Simplicity took nothing away from
its significance; it was the happiest day of my life.”
My husband and I got registered in 1981, and we held our wedding
ceremony in 1983. In those days, people still held fairly traditional
values, and they didn’t really regard a marriage as valid
until after the wedding ceremony. So we did not live together
until two years after registration, even though we were husband
and wife in the eyes of the law.
Of course that was at the beginning of reform and opening up.
Under the planned economy, there was a shortage of materials,
so you couldn’t readily buy furniture or other fancy household
goods. Housing was not a concern, as we lived in a spare room
in my parents-in-law’s home. We didn’t renovate the
room – we simply stuck up a paper cut of the Chinese character
for “double happiness,” as is the tradition in this
country. Household appliances like sewing machines and other items
like radios, bikes and watches were popular among young couples
at the time, but not all could afford them. All we could afford
was a big wardrobe and a bed. Two years later, we bought a TV
set for the substantial sum of RMB 1,400.
Chinese tradition dictates that the groom’s family hosts
the wedding banquet. We invited a decent chef, to come and cook
for the wedding, and arranged seven or eight tables in the courtyard
to treat our friends and relatives. All the plates and bowls were
borrowed from my husband’s place of work.
The gifts we received were all connected to daily life. We got
a several washbasins, a thermos flask, a frying pan, blankets,
and other such practical items. Some guests gave us a red envelope
(hongbao) with RMB 10 inside. In all, the wedding set us back
about RMB 600, after we had paid for the banquet, bought the clothes
and hired two cars. Our wages were very low at that time, my salary
was only RMB40, while my husband earned a little more than RMB30.
Simplicity was the watchword of the day, and almost everyone
accepted it. At the time, the economic gap between people was
much narrower than it is today. So most weddings back then were
pretty much identical to mine, though some had minor differences.
But its simplicity took nothing away from its significance; it
was the happiest day of my life.
Li Lin (aged 38): “Weddings, as one of life’s greatest
milestones, became more extravagant.”
When we got married in 1994, the reform and opening-up policy
had kicked in all across the country, and people were becoming
wealthier. Thus weddings, as one of life’s greatest milestones,
became more extravagant. People started to hold their wedding
ceremonies in large hotels: the more luxurious, the better.
Some wedding services that are today commonplace were beginning
to catch on back then, like hiring a wedding photographer. We
thought ourselves fashionable at the time, so we paid RMB1, 000
to have our photos taken in a Taiwan Wedding Photo Studio. Our
friends shot the wedding video, and also lent us cars. Gold jewelry
was also a must for weddings at the time, so we bought a pair
of gold wedding rings, and I wore gold earrings and a gold necklace.
Though most people rented, rather than bought, their wedding dresses,
I decided to buy my own. It cost me RMB 800. My husband also splashed
out on a red Tuxedo.
We spent a fortune on the wedding banquet, renovating our new
home and fitting it out with furniture – in all it cost RMB
50,000. We were lucky though – my husband’s parents
kindly contributed RMB 30,000. The gifts we received were fashionable
domestic appliances like a microwave and a pressure cooker.
Qin A’na (25): “We actually turned a small profit!”
We wedded in May 2004. I’m the first-born daughter in my
family, while my husband is an only child. Both sets of parents
therefore viewed our wedding as an extremely important affair.
They also gave us great financial help, and the families of both
sides helped to arrange the whole ceremony.
I come from Shandong, my husband is from Hubei, and we both work
and live in Beijing. So we actually had three banquets, involving
a total of 90 tables and 1,000 guests! The biggest feast took
place in Hubei. My husband’s parents are both government
officials, so they had a lot of friends to invite. They booked
a restaurant with 70 tables, and hired two popular wedding hosts.
Though we didn’t bother with a wedding planner, the motorcade,
the photographer and video maker were all professionals. Our friends
and relatives helped to find them, so we saved a substantial sum
of cash.
The whole thing, including the three banquets and renovating
our home, cost nearly RMB 100,000. Our parents paid for it all,
because we had just started work, and had little savings. But
when it comes to gift giving, the custom these days is to give
a red envelope stuffed with cash to the happy couple. In our case,
the money added up to over RMB 100,000, so in a way, we actually
turned a small profit!
For people of our generation, the biggest wedding-related expenditure
is housing. Most come from single child families, and they want
to buy a big house for the rest of their lives, with help from
their families. At the moment, we are still renting, because we
haven’t found a suitable house. But we renovated our existing
place, and bought a fridge, furniture and installed air conditioning.
When we eventually locate a suitable home, our parents are sure
to help us with the money.
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